I’m sitting in Starbucks working on my computer and in comes the most loud/annoying girl I’ve probably had the opportunity of seeing. She sat right next to me with a guy, and the best part is that they’re on a first date.So of course I had to eavesdrop. What follows are actual quotes from this girl throughout this romantic experience.
She is wearing a leg cast: “Well I fell and you know I just did the regular med student thing and went on with my day. I didn’t even know I sprained it. Anyways I normally swim like 60,000 meters a week, so this just totally sucks. Someone who is as athletic as me, it’s hard to not be upset about something like this.”
“I wouldn’t consider myself political per say. I do consider myself strongly opinionated on political things though. Like my parent’s are uber conservative, so I drive them totally nuts when I say liberal things. I mean whatever, they can’t control my brain.”
“ I just really care a lot about the children of this world. Like starvation, that’s not OK. Wait, is there only one shot in this? Ugh, hang on one second. “
““My parent’s totally made me apply to Michigan, they were all we don’t care you’re a Buckeye. They ruined my life pretty much.”
“I mean yeah, I enjoy some retail therapy here and there. But I do have some financial context drilled into my head. Whether I choose to use it, ha ha well that’s a different story.”
“Umm I think that since I am a Michigan Medical Student I have to show some loyalty, but I mean I was raised a Buckeye, you know moral dilemmas ha ha!”
Note- She goes on to repeat that she’s a Michigan Medical Student at least 7 times.
“I’ve read a lot of medical biographies or umm I like the Twilight Series. You know just like the pop stuff so I can get lost in a story that gets my brain off of all that medical stuff.”
The conversation took a weird turn to Ritalin and ADD?
“I feel like if there is a legitimate reason to use it, then by all means. But if you’re using it for fun then you should just kill yourself. People actually have really bad ADD and need it. There’s clinical material for diagnosing ADD, and we know when you’re lying.”
At the end, her date looked like he was in physical pain and she was discussing the pros/cons of child rearing techniques. All in all I think we can expect a summer wedding.