Pinterest: A lesson in dissapointment

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Like any self-respecting female, I belong to a fantastic website known as Pinterest. Yes ladies, we all know and love it. It’s like a Martha Stewart wet dream of DIY house projects and party planning ideas. Recipes, gift ideas, home décor! Oh my! If you have any large levels of estrogen in your body and have the privilege of living in a 1st world country, then you live in this magical website full of whimsy and present wrapping diagrams. The entire premise of this site is to “pin” cute little ideas to your categorized boards such as: Future Homes, Wedding Ideas, and Glitter Orgies. Like every other lady I pin like crazy to my boards, but c’mon it’s about time to call foul on this charade.
Weddings, home décor, quilting patterns? I have all of these pinned and yet not the slightest amount of ambition or talent to accomplish any of it. Home-made tealight center pieces with a glitter sneeze and garland… I don’t even know what that is, let alone how to do it.  Pinterest has made me over-estimate my abilities. That evil entity has built me up! Only to lead me on a downward spiral into failed wedding plans and a great recipe for a hard dose of reality. Home décor? On the path that I’m going, I’ll be living in a box in New York hoping Tina Fey will throw me scraps of talent and bread. Where’s my board for cozy box ideas Pinterest?! Give me something attainable! Wedding plans? Please. I need a cat lady category and fast.  How about 12 ways to scare neighborhood children off my lawn? I could use that. And honestly, with all the Mason jar decorations and recipes for “Mommy Cocktails” I’m pretty sure those homemakers are boozed up on moonshine to begin with. So c’mon Pinterest… help us out. We’re either too drunk or untalented to do any of this stuff anyway.

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